Brie Time and Sam Time

Other than just discovering that my fingers automatically want to type "Same" instead of "Sam" (wonder how long that will take to change? not long I bet), I've been thinking about how to spend good time with both my kids when I have two kids.

Already I've begun to feel slightly guilty about not being down on the floor playing with Brie while I'm nursing Sam; and feel slightly like I'm neglecting Sam if I'm horsing around with Brie and he's in his swing staring around. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm just not used to two yet, and that lack of constant interaction does not equal neglect.

The truth is that Brie is with us all day long, and is always being monitored or talked with or interacted with. The other truth is that Sam probably spends 6 hours a day nursing, 16 sleeping and at least three more being held. Which leaves 1 hour taken in snatches when he might be studying the light and shadows coming through the curtains. My head knows this. My heart wishes I could be with BOTH my babies, not all the time, but most of it.

Partly the answer is: this is why God gives us fathers and grandparents and aunts and uncles and honorary aunts and uncles and toddler-friends.

But I'm trying to figure out the other part.

Sam's probably easier than Brigid. For him, nursing IS quality time. He's getting fed, he's getting held, he's often getting talked to and sometimes sung to, and usually petted as well. And this is most of his waking hours.

Brigid's harder, because there's no way that all of her waking hours will be bliss. Not when there's chores to be done and food to eat and errands to run. I want to make sure that her day also always includes some one-on-one playing and reading and, actually, at this stage, just talking. Cuddle time usually goes hand-in-hand with naptime, quiet time and reading, so I'm not terribly worried about that. But I think I might make it a point every day to spend at least twenty minutes in the morning and again in the afternoon doing something she likes with her and doing NOTHING ELSE. Twenty minutes of reading or playdough or toy animals.

I started doing this before Sam came, but it got a bit off track this week. Most of the week was fine, especially with Adam home to take her outside and run around with her, but today was full of church and errands and she kind of fell apart this evening. Part of it was low blood sugar, but even after that was solved she was touchy. So I really want to make sure that she's getting enough attention. If I know that she is, than I can deal with any bad behavior that comes up without second-guessing myself - knowing that it actually is bad behavior, and that it's not a bad case of I Miss Mom.


This is Adam's second and last week of paternity leave, and I kind of want to use it to experiment with this kind of thing: stuff that I think will make life as a family of four good. Since Adam's home, we can try different things and have back-up if they fall through, and I can get his feedback on them right away.

One of the other things I'm thinking about is getting a blowdryer. That may sound strange, but I actually don't have one; I just let my hair air-dry after a morning shower. But if I had a blowdryer, I could shower at night and that would make the mornings much less pushed. Yes, I'm seriously considering getting a blowdryer, in the interest of family peace.

-Jess